Toxic Torts

Big Law is experiencing a little plague. Most of us are sick with a juicy cold which I have been coming down with for the last couple of days. Yesterday I reached for my box of soft Kleenex. Big Law provides the scratchy grayish kind in narrow, stingy boxes, so I treat myself to big boxes of the premium kind. When I reached for my box of Kleenex, it was empty. It made me rather cross, as I had just bought it, and there wasn't a single sheet left. Someone stole a whole clump of my private, personal Kleenex! All at once! I wonder if it's the same person who regularly helps him/herself to my skim milk which I buy to go with the oatmeal I get at the cafe downstairs. Someone isn't stealing just a bit for their coffee--skim milk doesn't whiten well and it's disappearing half a 16-oz. carton at a time, and Big Law provides enough (free) Mini Moos on any given day to fill a bath tub. Obviously the milk thief is calorie and/or cholesterol conscious. What makes me shudder is the possibility that he/she is lifting my carton to his/her thieving lips. Next time I will buy pink Kleenex and then patrol the floor to see who has pink wads of tissue in their wastebasket. The milk might be harder to trace.

So I took the day off today (because of the cold, not because of the outrage), and in between blowing my nose into large amounts of Unfilched Kleenex and sleeping the sleep of the antihistamined, I've been stitching on this: